'Colbert Christmas' is for a good cause, but it's painfully bad TV
By Verne Gay
Newsday
Tucson, Arizona | Published: 11.23.2008
REASON TO WATCH: Stephen Colbert, singing, dancing, Christmas. Need I say more?
WHAT IT'S ABOUT: Colbert has plans to go to New York City to sing and dance with Elvis Costello, but is trapped in his cabin somewhere upstate because a wild, man-eating bear is flailing wildly outside the front door. Understandably afraid to venture out, Colbert is left to muse about the true meaning of Christmas, via a bunch of songs written by "Daily Show" head writer Dave Javerbaum and Fountains of Wayne's Adam Schlesinger.
There are performances by Toby Keith, who sings "Have I Got a Present for You" — a kind of violent call to action against those who fail to say "Merry Christmas"; Willie Nelson, the fourth wise man, who's stoned, in Colbert's miniature creche; and Jon Stewart warbling "Can I Interest You in Hanukkah?" Feist, John Legend and Costello perform, too. Some proceeds from the sale of both DVD and CD will go to the nonprofit Feeding America.
BOTTOM LINE: Because this is all for a worthy cause, I hereby declare "A Colbert Christmas" a triumph! Now, with the good deed out of the way, the truth: "A Colbert Christmas" is pretty awful. Oh, sure, there are some funny lines, and at least two songs that are guaranteed some airplay, although I do wonder if the producers' intentions may backfire should Keith's battle cry become a huge hit on country music stations down South. The final duet with Colbert and Costello isn't too offensive to Christians (is it?), but at least it's very catchy.
Here's the basic problem. "Christmas" is one long extended, and often distended joke, with punch lines that never quite arrive. And when the bear and Colbert play tonsil hockey under the mistletoe . . . well, at that point, I was outta there.
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